Friday, November 2, 2007

OK You Sixth Grade Fucks, Let Me Explain

I wish I knew the U Tubes better than I do; what I'd do for a ...a ...a ...whatever you artistic shits call it... all the scenes from Philadelphia where Denzel wants things explained to him like he was a sixth grader.. you know... that collection... right here in a little click-screen...

Can I sound more Ted Stevensish?

What

Ever


So Dubya nominates this Mucus guy. Huh? Mucusey? Mukasey? What's in a name. He's a Dub-guy. Oh... for Attorney General. Now as I understand from my eighth grade civics, the AG is the guy who gives the final write-off for all laws; at least as far as the executive branch of the gov't is concerned. Basically, he's the guy who says yes or no as far as Dubya saying that I have to wear panties with his picture on them every Monday. Or not. and then I agree (or not) (or get branded terrorist) and hope that some how I get the opportunity/privilege/life-death experience of a court appear3ance complete with legal representation.... He's in charge of all this legal shit. He says whether or not he thinks laws are legal -- yes dear, laws can be illegal -- if you believe in the constitution -- and then the cops, FBI, ATF, CIA, NSA, Carlisle Group, Blackwater... act accordingly. Or not.

welllllllll... there's this group of impotent important people called the Judiciary Committee who sit the guy down and ask him questions with the idea of finding out if he's qualified (and mentally balanced) enough to take the job. or not. And they ask him important shit like his favorite color, or kids' favorite sports teams, or what he'll be wearing for halloween... huh? Oh. That was the presidential debate. m'bad.

wATERSLIDES? oH

Water BOARDING. Yeah. Someone had the NERVE to ask this guy if waterboarding was legal or not. Whether or not it is torture (torture being illegal) according to.... and I guess this... well.... ... somewhere in here this guy sputters. By what standard? For what purpose? as administered by..? Excuse me, but I'm having some Scooby Doo moments here. HUH???

Maybe using Coke? Pepsi? Mountain Dew? 7-Up?

If "WE" do it versus 'they."

The Jack Bauer/24/ticking timebomb/can't find my panties I'll be late for church.... You never had a peroxide blonde SoBaptist SEC allstar cheerleader... sorry... didn't mean to brag. Where was i....

Thumbscrews? The rack? The iron maiden? Crucifixion? Bamboo shoots under the fingernails? The Chinese water torture?

I've heard about these since I was about 6 - 7 years old. Water boarding?

Never heard of it before Bush jr. Basically, assholesamerican agents strap you down to a board, blindfold you and then pour water on your face to give you the impression that you're being drowned. Hmm... like being buried in the sand while the tide comes in?

So is it torture? Dub's guy can't say. Dub...?

"It's not fair to ask him about a program about which he's not been briefed." (I apologize for any grammatical correctness)

OK... Sixth graders... Program: He's not being asked about a "program." This is a favorite of the bushites: Rewrite the question; redefine the term; He's being asked about a specific practice. A practice he HAS to know about. If he doesn't know about it, he's been living under a rock and has no business as AG.

There's no need for him to be briefed; and the lack of a briefing is.... I don't need to be "briefed" to know that having my dick slammed in a car door will be painful. I've never been racked; I've never been slammed in the iron maiden. I don't know that either would cause permanent damage. I don't really know shit about either practice. What I do know....

Both

Are

TORTURE.

And so is waterboarding.

If congress approves Mucus... Mucusguy... Mukasey...

"Good Germans" "Good" "Want a Treat?"

3 comments:

Dale said...

Is water-boarding torture? I have already had this debate with a few people. In my opinion, you first have to determine how you define torture. I know, that sounds like a Bush statement. But seriously, there is physical torture, and there is mental torture. I honestly think there is nothing wrong with mental torture as long as the victim really is someone who deserves to be interrogated, not just someone Bush told his cronnies to pick up off the streets. Water-boarding is mental torture, not physical. The second the water-boarding stops, there is absolutely no pain. It is a way to trick the mind into thinking you are experiencing something you are not. If mentally torturing is going to get our guvmint the answers they are looking for from a few rag-heads, so be it. When they start physically torturing, that's a different story.

Either way, Mukasey is just another evil fucker who will have Bush's back.

Chris in Seattle said...

If mentally torturing is going to get our guvmint the answers they are looking for from a few rag-heads, so be it.

And when the "Rag-heads" do it to our guys? I assume that's OK too? I've heard that, "no physical pain/no permanent damage," argument before, and it's bullshit. It -- and some other tactics -- can leave someone a blithering idiot. It can also lead to pneumonia and other respiratory ailments.

The other thing is that the question of waterboarding opens the door to the whole issue of whether or not Dub and his minions are above the law or not. I believe Mukasey thinks he/they are.

DCup said...

No matter what, it fucks with out ability to claim the higher ground and isn't that at least partially what this country is supposed to be about?

Great post, Chris!