Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I'm not sure who this Karen is, but...

She sure got this right. From a comment thread at Crooks and Liars:

Democrats: We must purchase X. Without X our country is history.

Republicans: Bah. Whatever. Fuck you, commie, pinko, loser, terrorist sympathizers.

President: Folks, X must be purchased. The time has come! Get to it! X will cost $100, so lay out the funds.

Democrats: Thank you, Mr. President. Okay, what do our constituents want?

Voters: Uh, lay out the $100 and get X. Duh.

Democrats: No, that's off the table.

Voters: What? Why?

Democrats: Shut up!

Republicans: How about we just analyze how much of X we really need, most likely none, and pay the proportionate amount?

Democrats: That makes sense, but we really need X. How about $80?

Republicans: $15.

Democrats: $75.

Republicans: $15!

Democrats: $65?

Republicans: $15!

Democrats: $60.

Republicans: $15!

Democrats: $55.

Republicans: $15!

Democrats: Okay, $45, but we're not going any lower! X is too important!

Republicans: $15!

Democrats: $35?

Republicans: $15!

Democrats: $30.

Republicans: $15!

Conservo-crats: You know what? The Republicans are correct. $15 is good.

Democrats: What?!?!

Conservo-crats: You'll never even get part of X without us.

Democrats: $25!

Conservo-crats: Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

Democrats: $20?

Conservo-crats: $15.

President: Do what the Conserva-crats are saying. We need a deal.

Democrats: God damn it! Okay. $15.

Republicans: $10.

Democrats: Hey!

Conservo-crats: We could go for $10. After all, it's 10% more X than we have right now.

Democrats: What the hell good is 10% of X when without all of X our country is fucked?

Republicans: You guys really need to learn how to compromise. Stop being so stubborn. Stop being such idealists.

Democrats: Can we at least get back to $15?

Conservo-crats: Ehh, $10's good. Let's do $10.

Democrats: Fuck it. Fine. $10, for whatever good it'll do.

Republicans: $5.

Democrats: Stop it!

Republicans: $5, or we filibuster, and get the Conservo-crats to join us.

Democrats: Okay. $5. But no lower! We're putting our foot down for the American people.

Progresso-crats: Fuck this! We'll filibuster the damn thing!

Democrats: Hey! You lefties stay out of this! With you involved we'll get nothing! Let us do the negotiating!

Progresso-crats: We are getting nothing! You said so yourself! What good is 5% of X when without all of X our country is done?

Democrats: We're settled on $5. $5 is at least a 5% victory for the American people. We can't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

Progresso-crats: You're kidding, right?

Democrats: $5 and not a dollar less!

. . . . . . . . to be continued . . . . . .


Camille Carnell Pronovost said...

OMG, LOL and so true! Thx for sharing.

Chris in Seattle said...

Grrrr.... you're laughing while I'm seething. Tes, I agree it's true, but I find it shameful.

Since I made the colossal mistake of voting for Reagan, twice might I add, so I guess I should say mistakes... I've grown to detest the refuckyoucan party and all it stands for. Which is.... anyway

I have to give them credit: When it comes time, they know how to close ranks and march in lockstep. Bush never had more than 55 Senators and look at all the destruction he managed to accomplish: Two wars, torture and wiretapping and then immunity for the torturers and wiretappers, huge irresponsible tax cuts, record setting deficits, mass exodus of manufacturing jobs, the list goes on. His only failure was his aborted destruction/privatization of Social Security.

And we Dems can't even do good things.