Sunday, February 24, 2008

I Wish there Was a Place Called Stupidville

A place where people like this could live. From the Focus page in today's Sunday Times/P-I. Enjoy:

Can't exaggerate seriousness of event

I cannot believe all the negative conspiracy theories surrounding the shooting down of that failed spy satellite. This administration is one of the most straightforward, open and honest that we have ever had in our nation's history and we should believe it when we are told of the true motives for destroying that toxic bus.

It was only a year ago that the U.S. protested vehemently when China shot down one of its defunct weather satellites. That was a provocative action meant to demonstrate China's ability to knock satellites out of orbit at will. The ramifications of the warning are far-reaching. So much of our communication and the very defense of our nation as well as that of the other free nations in the world depend upon the operational reliability of satellites. To suggest that we would now do the very thing that we admonished the Chinese for doing is ludicrous.

We should take this administration at its word. They bravely and heroically saved us from half a ton of poisonous fuel that could have rained death upon the world's population. The seriousness of this catastrophe could hardly be exaggerated and it was well worth the million dollars plus that it cost taxpayers to end the crisis.

Our technology has not advanced to the point where we can safely launch toxic time bombs into space. If it happened once, it could happen again.

We narrowly averted disaster this time by employing an advanced weapons system that saved us from undeniable devastation. Therefore, I look forward to an announcement soon from the administration that henceforth we will no longer be launching satellites into orbit in order to avoid this very dangerous situation from repeating itself in the future.

Marshall Dunlap

I read this shortly after eating my breakfast. I'm not sure how I held it down.

Initially I thought this guy was serious, but then as I reread the thing, I realized that NO one, except perhaps The Republican, my sub-moronic brother-in-law, could possibly be so fucking stupid to believe something like this. I mean it's so stupid it's funny. Funny to the point of possibly being brillyunt.

Surely this guy has a future in writing for people like Colbert, Stewart and Lewis Black. Maybe the guy should just have his own show somewhere. But then...

There's The Republican and people like him who really, truly, honestly do believe this fucking shit, and those who spew it.

More on the satellite here. According to someone, there was a direct hit and debris is now falling into the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. Hmmm... and no where in between? ??? I may have said so before, but Firestarter5 had the idea that the Dubster's lackies might plan to miss and have the missile hit Iran instead.


kimmyk said...

when i first started reading i thought it was your words and i was all "you've got to be fucking kidding me with this shit chris" but then i realized they weren't your words and can I just say that's a good thing?!

they way that firestarter5 thinks is scary.

Chris in Seattle said...

I wonder how many other people will be fooled like you almost were.

I agreed with FS on the Iran thing. Does that make me scary too?