Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Magical History Tour

h/t to the inestimable Ms Rachel Maddow for the title.

As Dub takes us all on a last spin around the dance floor, attempting to baffle us with his bull shit, since he has no brilliance with which to dazzle us...

Oh fuck...

Who's trying to kid who here? It's allllllllll about the shoes. It will forevvvvverrrrrr be about the shoes.

The fucking irony: Here's the fake cowboy, with his fake ranch and his fake diplomacy, that resulted in all too real death and destruction, trying to bask in some sort of warm afterglow of re-written historical sunshine, and instead he's ducking some guy's shit stompers. As my brother described it:
My congratulations to the standing president of the United States on his excellent 1st set during the Olympic qualifying rounds of dodge ball; ahh err dodge shoe..... He showed great composure, deft ducking ability, gave an excellent head fake, and kept his eyes fixed on his opponent while preparing for a much easier 2nd duck. He got a bye round during the 2nd set in Afghanistan and will proceed on out of the round robin – into the quarterfinals. He will probably be given a well deserved first seed in the London Olympics.
A little more polite and deferential, but then my brother's not... well... he sent that to my mom so... He's also got kids so... Oh hell I can't explain why he's so nice. Now me on the other hand...

I cannot find words that convey the depths of the disgust and negativity of my feeling toward this...this... Somehow even words like fucktard and douchenozzle just don't do it. I've yet to refer to Bush as a man, because I don't believe he is one. He's some undefined "it" that has no redeeming quality whatsoever.

"So someone threw a shoe at me; so what?" So what? You ass wipe. You supposedly represent this country, and you say, "So what?" You are worth less than worthless.

Only 34 fucking days of this ass wipe's reign of error left, but it seems like 34 forevers. Just shut the fuck up and go the fuck away. If Paraguay will still accept your sorry ass.

I was going to throw up the old Michael Jordan-Spike Lee Nike add: It's the shoes, but talking about Bush just saps the humor out of everything in this life.

So who do I see about getting a poster or t-shirt with this guy on it? And No, I don't mean Bush.


Anonymous said...

Bush would win the gold medal in missing the point.

Chris in Seattle said...

It's not that he "misses" the point, it's not even that he doesn't aim for it. He doesn't even give a passing thought to what the point might be, or where it might be. Hell I doubt the fucker even considers the very existence of a point.

Anonymous said...

Looks like this is the perfect Christmas gift for you:


copy and paste in browser. Oh, your cursor moves the shoe left and right.


Chris in Seattle said...

Zoey, or is it "me?"

I can't remember where I first saw or heard about this, but I already played it. Thanks for thinking of me though.